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Learn how I beat Depression

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Learn how I beat Depression

23 Comments

  1. kat
    Posted June 13, 2011 at 11:51 pm | Permalink

    Ok hear it goes. I have the d aswell. And I am on tablets have bn for a year. I get days wear I feel like my head is about too expode with the thoughts going on in my head. I dnt want too go anywear and often think why am I even putting my self through this sooo I stay in bed. Tryed theorpy made me worse talking didn’t help a tall. I dnt like talking.I wright it all down. And then hide it. I put on the fake smile too everyone in the family. My partner often says I want the old u bck. And I would love too say well hold on hear I am. Truth is. He has noo clue what I am thinking half of the time. I c him trying too understand. I love him fir helping me and cuddling me when I need one. He just doesn’t get why I don’t talk too him. Soo do I at times. Oh I feel weird putting this on someting someone els will read.

  2. caz
    Posted June 15, 2011 at 1:52 pm | Permalink

    dear cat i no what u r going through ,iam having a bad day today got the kids out school and went back to bed,iam only up to try and tidy the house abit before they come in. thay hvnt got a clue whats going on with me and iam a single mum. u take care

  3. janis
    Posted June 16, 2011 at 3:06 pm | Permalink

    hi ya havent got the internet at the moment so i havent beeen able to come on here and post any comments….things r’nt great at the moment,i so much feel i need to help people only i dont know where to start.i am very passionate about this and i really would value any ideas of how i could use my time helping others who r suffering. i truely want to get out into this world and connect with others who r suffering, be it on a personal level or over the internet. and i want to get intouch with people in high places so i can get the help people need.
    i truely hope that people r finding comfort in writing their experiences down on here . caz kat and helen please comment on here and let me know how u r all doing.

  4. Adam
    Posted July 15, 2011 at 1:11 am | Permalink

    Been a while since I posted on here… Unfortunately things have only gotten worse OCR the last few months, I’ve been hospital several times due to overdoses, my alcohol intake has only decreased slightly, and I’ve begun to self harm… I have a mental health assessment coming up an they’ve increased the dose on my anti depressants, I also have the pshyce team on my back and I attend a self help group every week. I have the most wonderful gf who always supports me and I love her loads. I’ve alienated all my friends and have hurt all my family.. Who have a history of self harm and depression which is down to issues such as rape and abuse. I can’t see myself going back to uni this year as I’m not medically fit, it will not get better anytime soon, tryna see light at the end of the tunnel .. but maybe that’s just a train ? I hope you are all well and my thoughts are with you x

  5. Helen
    Posted July 15, 2011 at 1:21 am | Permalink

    Hope things start looking up for you soon Adam. Really sorry to hear about all your going through, but your girlfriend sounds amazing. I’m so glad my husband has stuck with me through everything. Partners deserve a lot of credit for putting up with us :)

    Things seem to be looking up for me at the moment. I haven’t had a really bad day in a long time. Part of me wants to accept that I might be better, but the other part of me feels like I shouldn’t get my hopes up in case I come crashing down again. I guess only time will tell.

    Hoping everyone else is ok?

  6. sheila
    Posted July 27, 2011 at 11:04 pm | Permalink

    Hi,

    This is the first time I’ve visited this site … I’ve never told anyone how I feel, I just need someone to talk to… I don’t know if I have depression or not but I know that I feel awful most of the time. More often than not I feel sad and alone and I often don’t know why.
    But on the other hand, I graduated from uni last July and have no job, no money, a family I don’t speak to and a failing 4 year relationship. so am I depressed or am I just sad because my life is not working out? Is this something I should see a doctor about?

  7. BT
    Posted August 23, 2011 at 9:44 pm | Permalink

    Just been looking back at my 2 posts in April, bad bad times, but thankfully things are good at the moment. I saw the doctor on Monday and she’s really happy with me :-).
    It always feels so hard to relate to the deep dark black times when things seem realtively normal, I think I will forever spend my life rocking backwards and forwards between the two places in my mind, but coming on here today has reminded me how amazing it is to know you are NEVER alone with depression. Reading all your posts make things appear far more in context, the fear of it being a temporary cure is one that I think we all feel when we have better times. Enjoy each day, communicate your fears to those around you, even when you feel like your moaning on a good day. Don’t keep them inside. Just typing on here helps! Gotta run, sending everyone hope and the best wishes from the bottom of my heart for a happy day tomorrow x

  8. Graham
    Posted September 18, 2011 at 5:07 am | Permalink

    There are THREE golden rules to fighting depression. 1 Become the observer of your own thoughts- u are NOT ur mind. The real u is the concious awarenes that exists beyond simply thoughts. 2, dicipline over the mind- The human mind makes a great servant but a TERRIBLE MASTER. Once u realise you can observe your own thoughts u have reached an altogether higher state of conciousness. U can stop negative thoughts in their track and see them for what they are- a drain on your energy and a source of disease and despondancy. 3, u can only ever live in the PRESENT MOMENT. So many people are obsessed with the past or worried about the future. U can only ever be in the present moment and thats where ur thoughts should be. After suffering depression all my life and doing exhaustive research on the subject, these three principles are not a cure but they are a great help in your struggles.

  9. admin
    Posted November 16, 2011 at 1:31 pm | Permalink

    Hi,

    My name is Louise Atkins and I am part of a team of researchers conducting an ethically approved research project (11/LO/1287) at the Institute of Psychiatry, Kings College University of London. We are currently trying to recruit depressed participants.

    Our study aims to investigate the effect of a newly developed Cognitive Bias Modification (CBM) training on depression. This is single session study and we pay for the participant’s time. If we identify that CBM training is efficacious in reducing depressive symptoms, this research will shed light on the development of a very cost-effective treatment in mental health.

    I was wondering whether we could advertise our study on your website to help us recruit depressed participants? Is there any procedure we would have to go through to be able to advertise our study on your website?

    I would be very grateful if you could get back to me.

    Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require more information either by email (louise.l.atkins@kcl.ac.uk)

    Best wishes,
    Louise

  10. mathew thorpe
    Posted November 29, 2011 at 3:04 am | Permalink

    Well i gotta say … its mental to me to see that even in this day and age people are still oblivious to how widespread depression is and everyone is by no means alone. seeing this has refueled my desire to help people who suffer. i grew up a depressent … all I’d ever known … but then one day, aged 21 i had an epitheny and pulled myself “into the light” … Im 23 now and like someone said earlier … I dont think you’ll ever be 100% cured if its a part of who you are but not once in the last 2 and a half years have i wished myself dead, which before was an almost daily occurance … this epitheny had nothing to do with god or religion, nothing to do with lifestyle … it was simply that i fully grasped and understood the phrase life is what you make it. to begin understanding it you have to understand how to define life… im always up for talking about this and debating and explaining so feel free to contact me :-)

    i want to run an idea of mine through with you all and ask for advice… i have kept a diary from when i was 15 … i was thinking about seeing about publishing it …. At best it might help people realise what i realised and break free and if not then at least it would show that no matter how dark your days get (believe me, my days got dark) things can improve. at very least it would raise awareness and show people the symptons i suffered as yeah it is true that it affects people in many different ways … but there’s also bound to be a lot of people with same or similar experience. what ya reckon? How would i go about this?

  11. mathew thorpe
    Posted November 29, 2011 at 3:26 am | Permalink

    Here is a poem i wrote when I was 17

    The Way It Is
     
    There’s no such thing as a silver lining;
    Just a storm cloud with no edge.
    There’s a constant downpour of sadness,
    That no hopes can umbrella against.

    There’s no such thing as light at the end of the tunnel;
    Just a pitch black road with no end.
    There’s always anger and hatred,
    That no well thinking can mend.

    There’s no such thing as a bright side;
    Just a one sided war with darkness.
    There’s bound to be self loathing,
    That no nothing, you fear, can beat this.

    There’s no such thing as a helping hand;
    Just many faces worth no trust.
    There’s always a feeling of paranoia,
    That no love can remove the lust.

    There’s no such thing as something to live for;
    Just a million reasons to die.
    There is one simple resolution,
    That nobody can deny.
     

    Im quite proud of this poem … especially as im not a poet lol i’ve been trying to write a poem about how much better life is now i had my epitheny … but it’s always rubbish haha

  12. emma
    Posted December 7, 2011 at 12:44 pm | Permalink

    Hi this is Emma posting again. For around 4 months I had very serious depression but i didnt know what was happening to me. My life was taken away from me well thats h9w i see it because i couldn’t live all i did was lie in bed and worry and when i made myself go places and go walking I still just felt the same it wasnt untill my med was increased to 40mg that i slowly started to feel a bit normal again that was in april and its taken me months to get everything back but im so happy again now and I’m going back to my uni course in jan I had to leave last feb because of the depression. In a way im glad iv been through it because I now don’t take life for granted xx

  13. Sally Chewter
    Posted January 6, 2012 at 3:27 am | Permalink

    my own brain injury ocurred on New Year’s Eve last year, so 12 months ago, and it was not due to an accident but to a sudden rupture of a cerebral aneurysm (bubble on an artery in my brain)which I had no idea was there, though they say I was probably born with it. I was in a coma for 7 weeks and incredibly confused for many weeks after that, but this has improved. Physiotherapy has also improved my physical problems greatly, but here in Spain where I live I got no help for the emotional fallout except for some sleeping tablets and mild antidepressants. I still struggle with daily anxiety and depression, a great wave of sadness washes over me about an hour after I wake and I used to cry for about 3 hours and had little interest anything, especially as I was more or less blind until both eyes were operated on to remove blood forced into them by the burst artery. I also had some deafness and tinnitus. It made socialising very difficult. But I spoke on the phone to a client of my husband’s website business who is a psychologist in California and he said I should set myself some little achievable tasks each day and force myself to do them, and go for a brisk arm-swinging walk daily, just enough to get slightly out of breath, force myself to socialise (easier now that I can walk again and my eyes and ears have improved somewhat). He also instructed me to keep a daily journal of my feelings, mood swings and activities so that I can monitor my progress. I have managed to do these things most days and I feel that the depression is slowly lifting, although I still have bad days. Bless you and I hope this may be of some little help, and that 2012 will be a much better year for us all!
    Sally

  14. Michael White
    Posted February 9, 2012 at 9:23 pm | Permalink

    Hi Karl,
    Firstly let me commend you on spending time creating this site, I’ve been looking online for solutions/ answers to my issues for a while and your story and other blogs have given me the kick up the arse I’ve been looking for and given me some relief in knowing I’m not alone. I’ve just ordered the omega capsules from the link in your post so I will trial them and post back to let others know the outcome and if they had any positive effects. Thanks again and keep up the good work.
    Mick

  15. Amy Robertson
    Posted April 10, 2012 at 5:03 pm | Permalink

    I’m not sure if people are still commenting on this thread, but I guess I thought it would be therapeutic to write this down. I have suffered from depression since my early teens. I suffer from Crohns disease at the most extreme, and have had many operations, and times stuck in hospital when I should have been out enjoying my life as a teenager, two weeks before my 21st birthday I was told I would have to have a permanent colostomy bag, and that is when the depression really hit hard. I am 25 now, and there have been times when I have felt better about it, but most of the time its been awful, I’ve been on and off medication, but generally I feel like its just a temporary solution to a bigger problem. I have now lost a lot of weight, and it has seriously affected my confidence, and I am so insecure that its affecting my relationship with my partner, who I love more than anything, but I I am so overwhelmingly insecure when I see him with any other girl, it breaks my heart every time. Yet I completely trust him and I know he loves me and is very supportive, Im just creating these horrible scenarios of him running off with someone else, cos it feels like i don’t deserve him. My hearts breaking, and I just dont know how to deal with it. Any advice?

  16. Marie
    Posted August 6, 2012 at 5:25 pm | Permalink

    I haven’t read your blog as my depression is so acute I can’t concentrate for too long. I need to write this down for anybody who will listen and maybe get some support. Last year my sons 18 year old friend died in a motorbike accident. It left me consumed with grief so great I found it very difficult to get through the day. I constantly thought of him and his mum. The final straw came last month. My 86 year old aunt moved 140 miles away to a retirement flat, she had been like a mother to me since my parents died 30 years ago. For all those years it was her and me, although I was married with 3 children, no other family member had time for her. My aunt was a difficult person to get on with, formidable and up-tight. Last December my brother paid her his yearly visit and in a nut-shell helped her move back to be near him as the limits of her age was making her depressed ironically. My brother is retired and I run a business full-time. Previously he never gave her the time of day, but suddenly he couldn’t do enough. This rang alarm bells straight away, but stupidly I gave him the benefit of the doubt. (He never visited my dying mother, but came the day after she died to cash in her insurance policies). I thought he was a reformed character. Anyway, my aunt, who is a devout catholic, saw him as her guardian angel. Less than a month after moving in he has coerced and manipulated her into changing her will leaving the flat to him. I only came upon this by chance and wasn’t meant to ever find out. My aunt is confused and the move further muddled her brain, she cannot reason and stutters profusely. To add to the mix my aunt is very cold towards me. It’s as though I’ve served my purpose and am not needed anymore. Admittedly, I was extremely angry when I discovered the deceipt and didn’t handle it at all well. You must be thinking ‘surely you must have done something wrong’. I can only think that I didn’t act quicker to find a retirement home, nothing was suitable where I live. However, I have always been very patient with my aunt who repeats herself considerably. I may have snapped a couple of times, once when we were in John Lewis and she was causing a scene which I do not cope with at all well. Then I lost me temper and told her how I felt. In hindsight, I should have been calmer myself. Since this all flared up I am desperate. My aunt will now not speak to me as I called Social Services in as I though it was ‘vulnerable adult abuse’. Usually when I have mild depression I excercise, but truly, I cannot be bothered. I keep tormenting myself with ‘I should have done more for her’ or been stonger and resisted her moving so far away, but I saw that as a form of control on my part. I just wanted her to be happy. Sorry if this all sounds very self-indulgent, but I’m at my wits end. I need to move on, but am really struggling. I have booked a GPs appointment for this Thursday, but really do not want anti-deppressants. I am currently watching the Olympics which is making me feel a failure and in-adequate, feelings which would not normally be so exaggerated. My sense of humour is shot to pieces. Any advice from similar experiences will be much appreciated. PS: The flat had been promised to me and my family.

  17. Ashley
    Posted December 30, 2012 at 11:06 pm | Permalink

    I struggle with depression but when I visit my doctor to talk to them about it I don’t tell them my full story.i am only 25yrs old and my family just look at me when I tell them how I am feeling and say “what have you got to be depressed about” and this makes me even more down about myself.
    4yrs ago I had a miscarriage and I blame myself for this. After that I had found it hard to fall pregnant so I’ve been at the hospital to get tests done for the past 3yrs but they can’t find anything wrong with me so this made me feel less of a woman. After the 1st year of tests I started cutting myself and it stopped after another year, but it all came back last week when I badly slit my wrist and had to go to a&e to get stitches but I told the nurse I had fallen over……should I be asking for help and tell people the full extent of my depression or will they frown at me for being so stupid?every time I think of killing myself I get upset and know its selfish because all I can think about is my family and how much I love them. I moved out my parents house 6months ago and I am now single but have never felt so alone in all my life.
    I don’t know if what I have said makes any sense but I would like advice if u have any?

  18. Jay
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 7:24 pm | Permalink

    Hi Karl – Just thought I’d share my own experiences on what is a truly excellent mental health blog.

    I’m a male in his forties who is happily married and has a successful career, yet I’ve suffered with depression on and off for over 12 years.

    I realise now that depression started a lot earlier in my life than when it was finally diagnosed some four years later, putting it down to everything else other than being clinically depressed. I’d had extensive Integrative therapy whilst taking Citalopram antidepressants and between the two over an 18 month period thought I’d nailed the causes and felt fantastic – I was cured! It took another year to slide back into another depressive episode and realise that I wasn’t cured at all and since then I’ve been bouncing up and down on this ocean wondering if I’d ever see an end to it.

    Things came to a head this year when I had to take time off work for it. My employers were thankfully very sympathetic but this scared me as I’d been able to cope with my condition previously. So once I’d calmed down (St. John’s Wort helped, BTW) I took the time out to finally root out how and why this had all begun – figuring that the therapy, although very helpful, had missed something fundamental.

    I’d actually been systematically psychologically bullied in my first job at 18 years old for 3 years, which I eventually decided must be the cause. You might read this and say of course this is a massive issue here, but at the time I hid it from everyone – family, friends and employer – everyone.
    I think I developed a Stockholm Syndrome scenario with my bully where through it all where we kind of respected each other in the end and I resigned myself to it. And then he simply left the company and went to another job. No closure for me at all. All then neatly swept under the carpet and forgotten about. Move on. From there I developed some sort of drive in me to kill off the bullying period – I would be successful in my work and with a career change I was literally flying into success after success. Nothing I couldn’t do. Bullying nowhere to be seen.

    Then I think my buried past experiences caught up with me at some point – in ways that I couldn’t possibly understand at the time. I became irritable, nervous, angry, fearful. I started to gain weight, I started to self-medicate with alcohol. I lost confidence and self-esteem. My life started to unravel and I could not understand why – the rest is the journey as they say.

    So – back to this year and my realisation that bullying was the cause. I researched bullying at http://www.bullyonline.org which also lead to me read two revealing books in quick succession – “Bully In Sight” by Tim Fields and “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – The Invisible Injury” by David Kinchin. I now have a cause which has helped me immensely but I don’t yet have a solution to cope effectively day in and day out with depression; understanding finally that it will always be there.

    Like yourself, I read about nutrition, diet and exercise and this helped a-ways but like yourself there was something missing which eventually picked away at me and left me back at square one.
    Finding your blog therefore comes as a great source of encouragement to me to know that I was on the right track but just needed to keep going.

    I’m also very interested about your (and other peoples’) experiences with more pure Omega 3 supplements and EPA. I’ve diligently been taking 1000Mg of “high strength, pure cod liver oil” capsules for months and after your revelation I note depressingly (sic) that it contains just 110mg EPA as well as 100mg DHA! I’ve just ordered some Pura EPA from Mind1st website despite the accompanying documentation sounding like an ad in the back of a Sunday newspaper. But, along with my diet and exercise, if it improves my mood then I’ll be happier person.

    It’s very important to keep this blog going, Karl – I’ve been looking for something like this for a long time. I wanted to share my experiences and possibly help others along the way. But when you’re depressed you sometimes can’t see the wood for the trees.

    Jay

    January 1st 2013

  19. Anon
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 1:54 pm | Permalink

    I think I’ve got depression. My partner who I built my life around and who I gave everything up for to be with, waited until I had gone out one afternoon and left without a word. She wouldn’t answer the phone and I found out later that she gave her mobile to her daughter so that she wouldn’t see me trying to ring her. I tried ringing her daughter to find out why she left but her daughter took her mum’s side and wouldn’t speak to me either. It’s been four months now. I’m desperate to find friends but I don’t know how to go about it, to build my life up again. What makes it worse is I can’t get myself to go out. If feel that people sense I’m being to pushy for friendship. I find myself just sitting here all the time from morning to night thinking about what I’ve lost and how it’s left me and I miss her so much, and the life we had and I just burst out crying. There doesn’t seem any relief from it. I don’t know when or where it’s going to end.

  20. Erin
    Posted February 13, 2013 at 9:57 am | Permalink

    Hi,
    My name is Erin and i am currently making a documentary on depression for my course. As someone who has suffered from depression I wanted to make a documentary on how and where to get help as well as attempting to removing some of the stigma surrounding depression. I was searching the web to find what resources are easily available and came across this blog and was amazed at the response and the amount that people are commenting on how much this blog has helped them. I was wondering if i would be able to interview you about your blog? I don’t know another way to contact you but if you’re interested you can email me on Erin0@hotmail.co.uk so we can discuss it further.
    Thank you,
    Erin

  21. admin
    Posted February 13, 2013 at 10:16 am | Permalink

    Hi Erin

    Its not really my thing , you should try emailing mind1st they might be able to help.

  22. admin
    Posted February 13, 2013 at 10:25 am | Permalink

    update as of 10.2.2013

    I am still doing well , the better my diet is the better I feel , reduce stress and exercise also huge help,

  23. Erin
    Posted February 17, 2013 at 5:54 pm | Permalink

    Hi,
    Thanks anyway and I am glad to hear that you’re still doing well. :)

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