Not the Sharpest Pencils in the Box (Depression fix)

Learn how I beat Depression

Being trapped, seeing no way out, having something looming over your head that you have no control over. We’ve all been there, and indeed I have been there too. There are times in our lives when we have no option but to go ahead with things despite the worries and the strain that it brings over our being.

The reality is never as bad as the illusion of that reality when we are in fear of something. Perhaps it is a court date where we are to bare the brunt of the implications of wrong doing, perhaps it is in a state exam which is illegal to avoid. We will have seen, have been told, where it is the motivation of others to make us feel as bad about this thing as possible, where it is in their motivation to influence us to do this thing despite our reservation and fears, that can make these reservations and fears all the worse.

Lives are lost each year all over the world with young kids who don’t know any better, don’t know that all things eventually pass with time. Kids who don’t realise that even if they sit the damned thing the effects on their lives is never really going to be as bad as they imagine. In life we are who we are, we are built based on our actions, and there is plenty more space for us to show through our shining light, than in the achieving of solid results in a state exam that has been standardised and bastardized to access us against each other.

It is only a means to an end of college placement and meeting criteria, it is not a failure of our lives to take-off if we fail. There are always other avenues, such is the infinite amount of roads we can take, the myriad of avenues that all lead to the same place, a life filled with self satisfaction and self actualization when we go about reaching the point we are setting out to reach. It sickens me that young people take their own lives each year, out of their fear of failure and an inability to handle the fake pressures that have been built up in them by society, and by their teachers whose standing in the education system is based on the results of their students in these state examinations.

From the perspective of the youth, the trapped feeling leads to anxiety, and with that the lows of depression. The youth realises that the root of their problems is in the impending exams, and the only depression fix and removal of the pain they are experiencing is to end their lives. It seems obvious to them that this is the only way, the only depression fix, when there is no option but to go ahead with the exams themselves if they go on living. I remember the year I had to take the exams. I remember the pressures in what is regarded as the most difficult series of exams you will encounter in your life time. I remember the newspaper the morning they were due to commence, and two young people had already done away with themselves.

I was old and aware enough to know that they had done the wrong thing. Even from our sheltered existence it was obvious that the world was so much bigger than the ramifications of failure. But I guess the stress of the idea of sitting these and having the exam master walk down through the carefully placed rows of heads all biting their nails, the thought of the stillness and the quiet but for the scratching of pencils all around when your pencil struggled to put words on the paper, I guess that was too much for those poor young unfortunates who ended their lives before they had even begun. Before they had even gotten out of the starting blocks, to experience the freedom our world allows once this coming of age ‘test’ has been devoured, spat back out seeing us all degradingly graded.

Learn how I beat Depression

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